Older Than Dirt!

That pretty much sums up how I felt at turning 65 in May. Dirt can be pretty darn old.

We all deal with getting older differently as we are unique individuals but one thing stays true, it surprises us all. One day you look in the mirror and all is changed. When that happens we become a senior citizen almost overnight.

Of course, it doesn't really start overnight but time (which used to be on our side) is fickle. We realize it's moving at an alarming rate. Soon there's no time for anything! Time starts to pass us by.

That's not all! If single, (like me) love and romance get put on the sidelines as time feels like it's running out. One day the men who used to look at me with interest in their eyes start to ignore me. They stop looking and I'm confused. Where are all the men I ask myself? They can't all be married and needing Viagra!

While I'm trying to figure out where the men are and how to sign up for Medicare I become aware that people are putting me into a niche. That's when I start hearing the term, "for your age," added to sentences where it wasn't before.

When you start hearing this term added to everything people say about you, then you've become older than dirt. 

"You have great hair, for your age!" (My hair is my greatest asset it runs in the family and has been there my whole life.)

"You're in great shape, for your age." (Not the fact that I workout and exercise daily, eat the right foods, and get 8 hours of sleep a night.)

"You have a great memory, for your age." And so on and so forth.

No one knows this but when I find the right phone booth on a night when I've had way too many drinks I become Super Sanchez, a female Hulk/Superman mixture. When Super Sanchez shows up you better look out!

  

It really starts to grate at me. That, and being called, "ma'am" everywhere I go. Is there a rule that when you get grey hair you must be called ma'am? I still have a name last time I checked.

You better be careful what you say around us seniors some of us have super-powers.

Hell yeah!

Keep On Bloggin'!

Happiness

Happiness

Happiness is emotional

simple in its beginnings

endorphins fill my brain

muscles relax

others tense

pulling at the corners of my mouth

sounds escape my lips
as childish giggles.

Happiness is addictive

good times amplified

one beaming smile

spreading across many faces

we feel giddy

makes us fall in love

it makes the world go round

it’s better when shared.

Happiness is temporary

we’d like it to last forever

still, it leaves us

without warning

but when we least expect it

someone smiles

and it reminds us

that it’s just around the corner.

© Rebecca Sanchez 2018

Happiness never lasts but that doesn’t mean we’ll never be happy again. We never know what will make us smile. Open up and be receptive to happiness in any form. How are you doing? Have a great day!

Want to read more of my poetry? Capricious Poet.

Setting Up Your Google Plus Profile For Success

This was Showoffs, a popular community of mine on G+ in 2014. This is another article from Google past.

Setting Up Your Google Plus Profile For Success

So I just got my account on G+ and now I’m going to post!

Stop right there!

Your profile is one of the most important things you can spend time on and it will make a difference in how fast you gain followers and who you meet. Take the time to fill it out it’s your introduction to anyone and everyone. You will hear about Google being top-notch at helping you sell your product and if you think of yourself as” your product” no one can stop you!

I don’t want to tell people about myself if I don’t know them!

Of course, you don’t and who says you have to tell but a few well-placed facts about yourself and the things you would like to share online are a must. When you hit the G+ stream and start to add people to your first circle others will be adding you and before they do they will look at your profile.

What does yours say about you? If you have a blank profile they will pass you up and if you want to make friends or network this is a big negative.

You don’t have to put your address or enable location but people will want to know where you’re from and talk to you about it. They like to know what you are interested in and that can’t hurt. You don’t have to put where you work but you can put your vocation. Use common sense and be clever.

It’s up to you how much you want to divulge or express but the more information the better when it comes to people deciding whether to follow you or not. Remember, it’s not how many people in your circles it’s how many people follow you.

Why should I use a picture on my profile?

Profiles without pictures are called "Blueheads" and it puts a person off right away when they see no picture. People like to “see” who they are following and a headshot will help you reach more people.

My profile is filled out why include a photo? People will read about how cool I am it shouldn't matter?

If you have an excellent profile but no image people may not look you up meaning you have already lost. People online may seem like they have all the time in the world but they are busy and when looking up people to follow they would rather see a picture. I would probably not be looking you up without one.

Some things to think about including on your profile.

Okay so you don't have a lot to add yet but here’s what you should include and remember if you have interests you’d like to share with others online this is where you list them.

• Name/Username 
• At least last place you worked or not 
• Any education if you think it important to your online goal 
• A photo of you or something to represent you 
• If you have websites, YouTube, Facebook, etc. add the links so people can find and follow you there 
• What you want from your online experience 
• What others can expect from you 
• A good (keep it short) tagline and change it often 
• An image for your profile cover photo that represents your interests or tastes

You will want to set up your profile so you can update it easily without changing it too often so your friends will recognize you when they “see” you online.

An awesome feature of G+ that no other network has is that you can use animated Gifs for your profile photo/cover photo if you wish. How great is that?

Of course, filling out a profile is not rocket science but if you want to meet people this is the way to ensure that when you interact with someone and they like how it went they will look you up and circle you. Repeat many times over and soon you will be accumulating followers and be on your way. You are now a product people will want to “buy into” so relax and enjoy it.

Filling out profiles is not for everyone but blank profiles and no profile pictures are used every day by hackers and trolls on G+ that people have to block. This fact alone is a good reason to have a filled out profile. If you don’t want to do it know that your online experience will be an upward battle.

From Newbie To Maybe

From Newbie To Maybe

When I came here I felt just like every newbie, ignored and vulnerable. Google+ was a place where everyone else had friends but me.

I would put up posts and they would be ignored. If I left a comment it would go answered and ignored. Yet when reading comments all the people around me had people talking to them!

I thought, nobody here likes or understands me. I've been on Google+ a whole week already and nothing is happening and what’s up with the pluses? I want to go back to Facebook.

Bite your tongue!

Everyone feels like this starting Google+ after all it’s new and so are the people. You can't rely on your friends joining you here so instead of throwing in the towel do what I did and go from Newbie to Maybe. People will be circling you in no time.

Creative Commenting Is Key

Start getting used to surfing the public stream and if you see a post you like comment on it. Don't just say; “I like it.” Or “Lol!” That’s not going to do it at first. I found by being funny or creative with what I said in comments I started to get a lot more attention. Keep this up and get good at it. People with the posts and the people who comment on them will notice. With a little work you’ll start to get responses to your comments.

In the meantime people will be starting to circle you. Just because people circle you doesn't mean you have to circle them back. Let that sink in for a second. Circlecount facts will back me on this; some of the people with the most followers on G+ don’t follow anyone!

Start Your Circles Please

You will want to name your first circle and start following people. It's the same as friending someone. Name your first circle and be adding people to it as you go. Add people who like your comments and comment you back. Add people whose posts you want to see everyday. 

If you are commenting like I suggested and posting well you should start to see a little improvement in people paying attention to your posts. It takes time but it does happen and you will be making some neat new friends. 

Your posts won't see a lot of engagement for the first few months so anyone who comments or plusses you should be thanked. Tag them (plus their username) so they get notified of it.

You could have a circle for people you like, one for your kids, one for a communities, the choices are varied and up to you but circles are important because it’s your personal view to Google+ and your entertainment.

Talking To New People

You can’t rely on your friends joining you here on Google Plus and unless you want to crawl back to Facebook or Twitter ashamed of yourself you will buck up and meet new people. It’s easier than you think.

Pick people’s posts or comments that interest you and ask a question about that post. Engage the person you wish to know. If you are honest, friendly and open usually that person will be too. People love funny and clever. If it doesn't work out move on no foul.

You will meet people on posts and in comments. If you join communities you can meet people surrounding a shared interest and have a closer relationship than in public. I suggest you join one and you will get invites. As with following people just because someone invites you to join a community doesn’t mean you have to join.

Don’t Think People Don't See You

This is a social network and people will be watching you. Just because you can't “see” people following you doesn't mean you are invisible. On the contrary, you are constantly being circled, your profile checked and more by cautious plussers who can see everything you write online.

When new you should minimally fill out your profile and always have some sort of profile photo. People hate seeing stock profiles with no photos and you will have a big strike against you right away. People refer to these accounts as "Blue Heads" and avoid them.

Just because you write something to someone else and don't tag anyone the next person can come along and read your whole conversation on a public post. Remember that and use the tag feature instead if it gets personal so you don't say something you regret.

I have had people come up to me and tell me they were observing me react with another person online and it touched them. I was shocked to find out I could be watched that close but remember Google is a search engine first and foremost so people can follow you easily especially if they have you circled.

Important: If you say (write) something stupid and delete it on a public post that person can still read it if they are receiving email notifications so watch what you do and write online it's never invisible.

Posting Popularity

Posting is an important part of Google Plus and gaining followers. Learn from your mistakes (when your posts are poorly received) and post accordingly. I even delete posts that get ignored and it happens! 

People won’t circle you if they don't like your posts it’s what draws them to you. If you argue and pick fights calling it discussions it won't work. Humor is a 2 edged sword depending on what it is and being right is not always might. 

If you really stink and can't pick your own then share the good posts. There are plenty to go around so learn to recognize them and circle the people who share them they can be your best friends and assets. 

Just because one person doesn't have a success with a post doesn't mean you can't. If it's something good repackage it by all means. I've had some of my best trending posts that way.

Thing’s People Like On Posts

• awesome sayings or quotes
• good humor and classic cartoons
• animated Gifs
• good photography, personal pictures or selfies
• animal pictures and cats on #caturday (every Saturday)
• the space program or photos from NASA
• breaking or interesting news
• technical and business news
• anything about Google+
• beefcake for men or women
• movies and TV shows
• informative posts that teach you something
• music or YouTube videos
• recipes or food photos
• car or motorcycle photos
• posts that invite you to engage, like word games
• politeness and kindness

Thing’s People Hate On Posts

• dropping personal links or otherwise in comments
• becoming super friendly too fast
• pushing yourself or selling products constantly on your posts
• having a smart or dirty mouth in comments
• arguing with others on a post especially if it’s not your post
• getting into marathon discussions about something you can never agree on
• going “off topic” on other people’s posts-start your own chat
• constant negative images and words on posts
• pushing your beliefs on others especially religion there’s a time and a place
• racial profiling or bullying
• no profile photo (Blue Heads) or blank profile

There's many more not listed but a big one is killing a conversation on some one's post. Some people put up posts to “chat” with their friends about a subject. They will watch notifications and answer immediately and if they are discussing a recipe (for instance) you don’t talk about how fat you're getting. The conversation is ruined for the person posting because they wanted to talk about eating food and it’s your fault.

If you still have a tough time of it you might want to check into communities. Depending on which one’s you join you have an audience that is looking at one subject instead of many and you can find something you like. If the community is large (over 2000 people) one post can get a lot of attention and pluses. Smaller communities will afford you quicker attention by the members and meeting people so it depends on what you're looking for.

Picking the right people for your circles is important because that is what you will see in your streams on Google+ the most. They are the people you will share with and will entertain you. It’s your own fault if you end up with duds but you can always start over or share circles with others.

I fully believe that you don't need to share circles or be in them to get followers it's a personal choice. Better to get to know people a little first. It’s better to share circles when you're not a newbie anymore and need some stimulation in your stream.

Everyone who starts at Google+ wants instant success and wants a similar experience from whence they came even though they are looking for something different. It's not a "race" to see who can get the most +1's or followers. Slow and steady gets you followers that won't drop you later. Give yourself 2 months practicing these methods and you won't believe how far you will have come.

One thing's for sure instead of fretting about being a Newbie you now have the tools to become a Maybe…and after that anything is possible.

Source: Google+ and my experience as a user with 11.5 K followers. I am the final stage after Maybe; that would be “Got It” and you will too.

Woke Up With An Old Love On My Mind

I woke up this morning without remembering any dreams but I did have something on my mind that I hadn’t thought of in a long time. The love of my life.

In 1997 I thought I was happily married. We were living in beautiful Foster City in a large 2 bedroom apt. right on the slue. I had already bought the car of my dreams and with no kids I had what most people might consider a “dream life”.

Amongst the regular household chores I had the best patio garden in our complex. I had an art table where I worked on whatever I wished, I could do anything I was interested in and just like I am today that was quite a lot! So why did I feel there was something missing?

My now X and I moved in together in 1977 and got married in 1982. By the time 1997 came around I found to my dismay that I was living with a drunk and worse. Not the lose your job, bail out of jail, violent type drunk oh no! I may have realized it sooner. But he was a sneaky quiet drunk who after much alcohol became like a living statue that would not speak or move. Not much fun.

He was a hard worker that never took vacations much once we were married. Our sex life that used to be rich and rewarding was totally lack-luster. We didn’t do much together anymore and he was fast becoming a fat snoring slob to me in bed or out!

I was only in my early 40’s and I was so lonely. I decided to have an affair to infuse my life with some much needed attention from a man. I met a few men here and there but nobody stood out. I was just looking for an affair. Then, a friend from the city called me.

My friend had heard about a huge club in San Francisco where you could hang out all day, they had free bands, food and everything. It was actually a medical marijuana club and I already had a card. She said it was three stories of party time with plenty of bodies. I went the next day.

When I walked in what a sight this place was and full of people like she said! All kinds of amazing people! Two floors had couches and chairs all over and I used to sit up there and listen to the bands that played there in the evenings. This place was not for pot only so no alcohol was allowed and that was fine with me. I was pulling away from my interests at home and was spending more time in the city. I would go home at night.

I started meeting people at this club. We had a cozy little group of us that would meet there at a certain time or we’d just run into each other there. One of my friends Doc, told me about a friend of his who was going to play there so I decided to check it out. I was terribly excited and got there early.

It seemed liked forever but it was time for the bands. A man walked out on stage with his guitar under the spot light. I could tell he had some American Indian in him. He looked to be about my age with dark brown eyes and longish brown hair that fell over his forehead. Kind of like a Beatles hair cut but he pulled it off. He was muscular in his jeans and T shirt. He looked good enough to eat.

He finished a short set, packed up his guitar and came over to our table hailing Doc. As he sat down Doc did the introductions. Our eyes met and I KNEW I was in lust. His name was Chris and like a high school girl I was smitten! We all talked until closing parting ways. As I drove home I knew I had to have him.

The next day I waited but no Doc and no Chris. I visited with some other acquaintances but my heart was not in it. This continued for a week and I figured he had a girl friend. Still, I could not get him out of my head!

The next week I was sitting by myself and it was early. I picked a table this time and as I sat down I saw him. He smiled and rushed over to sit down with me. I was hoping I could remember the English language as I said hello. He was wonderful to look at and I really got lost in his eyes, his mouth, and his smile. I could tell he was very interested in me.

It got louder as the day went on and we had our heads together talking. His hair brushed my face once and it was so soft. I didn't dare touch it. He asked me if I wanted to go down to Ocean Beach to watch the sunset. I told him I had my car and top down we sped to the beach. I had a blanket in my trunk and we had sex for the first time on the beach. Did I say sex? More like nirvana!

I was so fulfilled and happy that I didn’t question anything after that. As long as we were together was ALL that counted. The next night I stayed in the city with Chris crashing on a futon at his friend’s house (who I never saw) while we had the best sex I ever had on this earth.

This guy owned me and maybe that was part of it. We would stay at hotels or on the futon on Bush Street. In the morning we would have more sex, take a shower together have breakfast and he showed me San Francisco his way. It was over the top romantic and I never went home again.

At the time I was so happy I still wasn’t questioning anything nor was I thinking of the future. I was sure a love like ours was so awesome that the world would have to be kind to us and that the future would work out all on it’s own.

Our love making was full of passion with Chris showing me positions he said that American Indians used during sex. He liked his sex the way I did, hot and lots of it. Wild, earth shaking organisms were had by both of us and we became inseparable. It was like a dream I had never had.

While we were together he was playing in two bands with friends. He played bass and sang backup in one band and in his own band played lead and sang. We would come down to Foster City for two practises a week and spend the night at a hotel then head back to SF for the other 5 days.

By now I had left my husband, my two cats and everything I ever knew or owned behind. I did make a few trips to pick things up but I left most of it. My best friend at the time told me I was making a big mistake. I told her to mind her own business and that was the end of that friendship. I just didn’t care.

In 1998 Chris and I moved in together on Leavenworth Street in San Francisco. We were both in our 40’s and he was one year older than me. I was floating on air.

Then I missed a period. I had never been pregnant but I knew that I was. I went and got a test and OMG, I was two weeks with child. For an instant I thought about how beautiful our child would be and that I was in my 40’s. It was the last time I would ever have this chance to have a child. Chris was my baby’s father how great is that?

Then reality set in. I had never wanted kids before and I didn't now. He already had a girl he never saw. I told him I was getting an abortion. Of course he didn’t argue a good thing. He already had one child in Oklahoma to pay child support on.

He was very supportive about the abortion. We resumed our sex life and were closer than ever when one day he started talking about family in Oklahoma. He was telling me he wanted us to move there. He went out there alone for a week first. He called every day until he came home and I was so happy to see his smiling face at the airport.

Life as we know it can be so cruel. It was now December of 1998. One day a woman called from Oklahoma and asked for Chris. I should of paid more attention but I was love-struck. That, and I didn't want to move to Oklahoma but I was getting worried. The woman didn't seem like anyone to him just an old friend, but what if?

I had a right to be worried. Chris told me right before Christmas that he was leaving me and going back. I think I was finally waking up from my dream as he didn’t ask me to come along. I was relieved about that but I wanted him so bad!

He quickly moved out stealing a lot of my things. Why wasn't I shocked? (It was some Tshirts and a guitar.) When he got back to Oklahoma he was calling me every week still telling me how much he missed me. Finally in 1999 I got no more calls. I still missed him and he told me he was coming back until the calls stopped.

After that I got my divorce in 2000. I didn't want to go back to my X but I had totally screwed up my whole life for 2 years of nirvana. My girlfriend had been right after all.

I agree that I should of known better. I really shouldn’t have messed my life up at that age for any one man. My marriage would have been over with anyway but I wouldn't have lost everything.

If was to see him today I’d be happy to. He was handsome with a nice laugh. He gave me the best loving I ever had, got me pregnant for the first time and if I ever found this kind of relationship with a man again I would chain that man to my bed and swallow the key! Tee hee!

I don’t know why I felt compelled to blog about Chris today except that I still think of him often as he will always be unforgettable but sort of regrettable, to me.

Keep On Bloggin’!