The Facts Of Chocolate

A guy found a bottle and a genie granted him three wishes.

"Well," he said: "I'm broke and life sucks.
I'd like to be really stinking rich."
***POOF****
There was a million bucks.

"The best car in the World," he said;
"Is what I'd really adore,
But it costs $1.7 million.”
***POOF****
There was a Bugatti Veyron 16.4.

Finally, he said; "I'm a nerdy geek
I'm not one of those hunky jocks
I'd like to be irresistible to all women.”
***POOF****
He was turned into an automatically, refilling, giant chocolate box.
(Which unfortunately has no need for money and a car but on the other hand, will get slobbered over by all women.)

Jon Bratton 2012

Tee shirt slogan

EMERGENCY ALERT:
If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed,
ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY.

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps from chocolate!

Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete Hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate!

Elaine Sherman
Book of Divine Indulgences

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.

Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show, August 22nd

Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.

Mariska Hargitay

Chocolate doesn't make the world go around ... but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile!

Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. It's something that should be had on a daily basis.

Sandra Bullock

It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man.

Miranda Ingram

Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets.

Milton Zelman, publisher of "Chocolate News"

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

Mel Gibson

I don't understand why so many "so-called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.

I take chocolate from strangers.

... the taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex... For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate... entirely by myself. Furtiveness makes it better.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

Forget love...I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and no appointment is needed.

My mouth is watering after writing this I'm off for some chocolate!!!

Keep On Bloggin’!