The Witness Stand

Taking the witness stand (although I had nothing to be afraid of,) felt worse than having butterflies. I had a belly full of fish and they never stopped swimming the entire time! (My animation.)

I knew my turn had to come to be on the stand and come it did. I walked up with shaky legs (not due to my bad knees this time) and took my oath. 

As I sat down I thoughtI’ve gone over this stuff a million times, I feel confident and will do just fine! Sure Bekkie....

The Petitioner's lawyer came over and asked the first question. I was well practiced and at the ready! As I opened my mouth I noticed the people looking at me...they started to swim around just like my belly was feeling.

OMG! I looked back at the lawyer. Her lips were moving but nothing but gibberish was coming out! I was freaking out but I was aware that something was coming out of my mouth. Could it be I give a good answer? I looked at the people looking at me. At least no one was laughing or pointing fingers…I did my best and plowed on.

Ignore the floating people, don’t look them in the eyes and answer the question. I know this stuff! (I thought to myself.)

I was on the stand for about 2 1/2 hours. and it was finally over. The longest 2 1/2 hours I ever spent and I swear I was on acid….until I got off of the stand.

Then it was over and the sky opened up, the sun came out and the angels sang! Yet, I was left with a full load of adrenaline. Then it hit me, it’s not over yet and I may lose everything.

I stand to lose every cent I am living off of from getting alimony. I wasn't even getting the whole amount I cut my X some slack and now he was trying to cut me off completely.

So yes, my first day in court is over and I survived! The case isn’t over yet and I’ll have to go back for a 1/2 day July 5th and a 1/2 day July 8th. Can you believe they are making us come back twice for what we could get done in one day? Ridiculous.

At least it will finally be done soon as I’ve waited for over a year from the first court date. I am looking forward to starting the first day of my new life whatever comes.

Today is Tuesday and as the weekend approaches we have another holiday coming up, the 4th of July to celebrate. I want to see some awesome fireworks. Who’s with me? I hope you have a lovely week my friends as I retire for a well deserved restful evening.

Keep On Bloggin’!

Improving Your Blog With Gadgets

Blogger has gadgets and widgets to use but what are they and which should I use? Actually, they are the same thing and can do wonders for your website. If familiar with code you can write them yourself.

A Gadget is a portable chunk of code that can be installed and executed within any separate HTML-based web page by an end user (people using the gadget) without requiring additional compilation. They do many different things. 

They are derived from the idea of code reuse. Other terms used to describe gadgets include widget, badge, module, webjit, capsule, snippet, mini, application, flake and more. Gadgets usually but not always use HTML, DHTML, JavaScript, or Adobe Flash. 

End users primarily use widgets to enhance our personal web experiences or the web experiences of visitors to our personal sites.The use of widgets has proven extremely popular, where users of social media are able to add stand-alone applications to blogs, profiles and community pages for free. Widgets add utility in the same way that an Android smartphone uses applications.

The developers of these widgets often offer them for free which gives them a form of sponsored content where both parties gain. This can pay for the cost of the development.

Blogger can use gadgets from all kinds of websites not just what's listed which is the beauty of using these ‘portable chunks of code’. Because the coding is all very similar I have found gadgets from other websites that I was able to ‘tweak’ to use on my website. (By tweaking I mean changing the code a bit so it does work.) 

If you’re looking for new ideas for Blogger or your website, One Gadget At A Time is the site to read. It explains everything you need to know to use awesome gadgets. You can use just about any of them as long as the ‘embed code’ works. (Sometimes if they don't a few tweaks and you can get it working, the code can be a little different depending on what version of the code required.)

There’s a big difference between some gadgets and others. Compare them and see what I mean. The best place to find the coolest gadgets is by searching online there's so many to use for free. 

You have a Blogger website so why should you have to deal with gadgets? Because gadgets are not only for fun they can give you important information about your website's statistics. These gadgets tell you who’s following you, how many people visit your website, what kind of comments you get, the friends you make and so much more. 

When you have a new website although they're already set up you need to go and install certain gadgets to make it complete. Make your website "pop" by experimenting with movement, looks and colors. Some gadgets help get your point across and convey the "mood" of your website. To be successful you must attract readers and your site is only as good as your last reader.

“If we could only pull out our brains and use only our eyes.” Pablo Picasso

That would hurt like mad Pablo! Lol!

Keep On Bloggin’!

How To Make An Origami Fortune Teller

I first learned to make these in grade school so this is something you can make and share with your kids or re-discover for yourself. Kids (young and old) love to play with these and all you need is a piece of square paper, pencil or crayons, and an imagination.

To construct a paper fortune teller you need a square piece of paper. To check if your paper is square, fold it diagonally along one edge. If there is some paper left over outside of your fold cut it off with scissors. You will now have a square piece of paper.

How To Fold And Make Your Fortune Teller

1. Use a square piece of paper
2. Fold the paper in half
3. Open the paper, turn the paper perpendicular and fold the paper in half again
4. Unfold the paper again, if done right you will have 4 squares on the page
5. Fold the paper on the diagonal
6. Unfold the paper, turn it and fold it on the other diagonal
7. Open the paper again
8. Fold all the corners to the center of the paper
9. Turn it over and fold the corners to the center of the paper on the other side

You are now finished folding your fortune teller. Time for the fun part! What fortunes and colors will you think of?

Flip it over and write a number on each of the four sections. (If you have problems there's plenty of pictures to compare with.) 

Flip the fortune teller over and open it up without unfolding the whole thing. Write creative fortunes (answers to your questions) on the inside flaps. Answers to yes/no types of questions are the best.

Fold the flaps back down and write a color (or color the flap) for each section. (There should be 8 sections.)

Your Origami Fortune Teller is now finished.


It should look something like this (below.) It's ok to color flaps and make it as decorative as you'd like. Simple pictures would be fun too.

Whatever you come up with is good. You can pick themes for each fortune teller and make more than one. You can have a color or picture theme it's all up to you.

• Love Questions
• Life Questions
• Silly Questions
• Future Fortune Telling
• Truth Or Dare Questions
• Yes Or No Questions

People’s names, animals, or any theme can be incorporated into the fortune teller for variety. Feel free to experiment.

How To Hold It

Grab the fortune teller and open it up for a test drive. (See the animation at the top of this post.) To open, use your index finger and thumb of your right hand under the square flaps on the right side. Do the same with your left hand on the left side. Both your hands should be in the fortune teller. Slowly bring your fingers together and the fortune teller will close. Open and close the flaps by opening and closing your fingers.

How To Use It

With your fingers in it have someone ask a yes/no type question. After they answer flip it around (put on a good show) and let them pick a number on the outside. 

After they pick a number, count out the number as you move the fortune teller back and forth (i.e. FOUR - count four moves) that many times. On the last count keep it open so they can pick a color.

Have them pick a color. Spell out the color as you move the fortune teller back and forth (i.e. BLUE- four letters, move 4 times) as many letters that are in that color. Hold it open on the last letter so they can pick a number from the inside.

Have them pick a new number from the inside and open the flap of the number they picked. The answer to their question is on the inside tab that you have just revealed. Read them their answer.

When making your fortune teller it’s best to use paper that you can color or write on easily. Stickers, glitter, or any art supplies can be used. It’s up to you how you decorate it and what theme you choose. Have some fun with it and switch the tabs around. You can start with colors on the outside and numbers on the inside it still works the same. Choose colors that have different numbers in the names so there are no repeats when counting.

When writing questions for your fortune teller, keep in mind that they should be answers to ‘yes’ or ‘no’ type questions. The options are limitless.

What Theme Will You Use?

There is no end to the themes or look of these fortune tellers. People use this folding technique to make simple puppets and more. I've seen people use them for wedding placemats and just about anything. I'd like to see a link to your ideas in comments. Enjoy!

This is a cheap and fun way to keep busy when it's raining outside or there's nothing to do. Every kid should know how to make these and adults could learn a thing or two about old-fashioned fun and relaxation.

Keep On Bloggin’!

Jokes From The Inbox

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right…whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

A Wish To Live Forever

I met a fairy today who said that she would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

From An Actual Trail In The UK

A young Woman several months pregnant was sitting on a bus when she noticed a young man smiling at her. She decided to look out the window and ignore him.

She chanced a look back at him. He was still staring at her with an even bigger smile on his face and she was the only one he was looking at!

She was sure of this. She began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat & he seemed more amused. She moved again and he was rolling with laughter.

She was so angry she got off the bus and called the cops on him. He was arrested and when he was in court she was there.

In the court, the judge asked him what his defense was for bothering pregnant women on the bus.

He said; “When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read 'Coming Soon- The unknown boon’. I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement which read 'William's stick did the trick'. When I could not control myself any longer, she moved again! On the third move, she sat under an advertisement which read 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident”.

The case was dismissed. The judge fell off his chair laughing.

The Password  

During a recent password audit by Microsoft & Google it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

‘MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento’.
When asked why she had such a long password, she said, “I was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital. Didn’t I do it right?”

A Day In Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glum chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and Fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh no.
Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

Observations On Growing Older

• Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect!
• Going out is good. Coming home is better! 
• When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"
• When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.
• You forget names .... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
• The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 10+ and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 10+ pounds.
• Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
• Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his ‘pre-sleep’. 
• Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! You used to say; "I hope my kids GET married”. Now; "I hope they STAY married!"
• You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
• When personal computers were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
• You tend to use more 4 letter words like, "what?"..."when?"... ???
• Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
• Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
• You read 100 pages of a book before you realize you've read it.
• Notice everything they sell in stores is ‘sleeveless’?!!!
• What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
• Everybody whispers because you are going deaf. 
• Now that your husband has retired .. you'd give anything if he'd find a job! 
• But old is good in some things especially ‘Old Friends’!!!!! 

“It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.” Anonymous

Keep On Bloggin’!