Christmas Is Coming

So it's the holiday season again. When I was a child, like all children, Christmas was magical. My parents were great at it. They even hid presents in the tree and around the room they really knew how to work us kids into a frenzy. 

Then one day I became aware. Being the older sister of a 4 year younger brother I was the first. I don't remember how or why but I got old enough to finally understand the workings of Christmas. No Santa Claus? That about killed me.

I grew up a child with a huge imagination. It's one of the things that has helped me through life but finding out about Christmas was just one of the "truths" of life that I found shocking signaling the end of my childhood.

No magic? What about the rest of it? The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and more? All tall stories and for what? I still wonder. Would it be so bad to have kids know the real truth behind these childhood fibs? Maybe when we grew up we wouldn't be willing to believe every untrue lie fed to us by our government for example? The "experts"?

I don't know but I do know I'm getting off of the subject of Christmas. I'm not ready for it but I never am. Christmas was lost to me in the 90's along with Thanksgiving and most of the other holidays now all just indicators of more time passing.

If I had family who cared it might be more pleasant but I doubt it. I'm always broke these days, especially around the holidays so I don't get into Black Friday or Cyber Monday, etc. I might buy something small for myself just so I don't feel so sorry for "me".

When I think of Christmas this is what I think of. A snow-covered cabin all cozy inside with presents and a fire waiting. Perhaps a warm handsome man?

I used to have snow at Christmas but living in California that's out of the question unless one has money (and the knees) to go skiing. But this is what I do during the holidays.

I'm out riding my bicycle along the Bay Trail in San Mateo. It's really pretty year round even without snow. I miss it sometimes.

Candy canes are still one of my favorite candies! I actually learned to like fruitcake and I adore eggnog with dark rum. What do you like about Christmas?

The thing I still like each year is New Years. Now that I'm older I don't like how fast time is flying but I can't help but have some hope that each year will get better. This year is already better right now than last so I'm hoping for more of the same.

I like these old GIF's with such pretty Christmas scenery.

And even the ones with the old Christmas magic.

These are beautiful scenes that I've never seen with my eyes. Although I've seen some pretty sights in winter horse-drawn carriages and things like this are pretty much history.

You can't stop time or the holiday season. The stores would never let that happen!!

Christmas is coming just like every year...whatever way you celebrate, or don't, I hope you have the best Christmas ever!

Results Of My Eye Operation After Two Months & Three Days

I went to see Dr. Lam (my Ophthalmologist) on March 14th to find out how my eye surgery finally turned out. She did two operations on my right eye on January 19th. Even though I couldn’t tell I had a cataract the new lens in my eye surprisingly improved my eyesight and that was an awesome side effect.

Dr. Lam told me the second operation would really be difficult to pull off because a Macular hole is hard to close and there could be a lot of complications involved. She told me ahead of time that the gas bubble might not do the job, said to keep my head down, follow her instructions, use the eye drops as directed and keep my fingers crossed. I not only did that, but I prayed that my eye would respond to the treatment.

When Dr. Lam came into the examining room that day with the images of my inner eye she was really pleased. She showed me the images and it was amazing! The Macular Degeneration that caused the hole had disappeared! The before and after pictures were striking as the gas bubble had worked and the hole was gone. My doctor and I hugged as she congratulated me for following directions. Of course, I was lucky to have her as my doctor she was very good at her job and I thanked her.

I wasn’t sure if it worked or not before this last visit and was worried because I could still see the kink in a straight line when I used that eye but my doctor explained that it would take awhile for the damage that the hole had done to clear up and because we treated it so fast there wasn’t much damage at all. I can surely live with that and it saved my central, hell, it saved my vision in that eye!

I’m so happy to say I’m back and ready to write! My eye surgery worked and I’m thrilled! Besides that, I’ve missed my social networking, writing and reading your blogs!

Keep On Bloggin’!

Update. 

Unfortunately, although I did everything right this failed. I had to have it done again immediately. Again, I beat the small odds that it wouldn't happen again, yet I can't win the lottery or anything else for that matter.

My retina finally stayed down. I can see but the middle of my vision is damaged making it hard to read at times when I really notice it. My good eye is really bad now with floaters that are in the way of my vision. I don't write as much because of it. Lucky for me when I ride my bike outside and look around it's still beautiful.

In the next 4 short years, my life went to hell. My favorite aunt and mother died. My brother didn't tell me my mom was dying until it was too late for me to see her! Afterward, I got no closure. 

My roommate lost his permanent job, I lost my alimony and rent/bills kept going up. I gained a lot of weight and suffered the worst depression of my life. I lost my savings accounts which dwindled to nothing paying bills beyond my means. My health was on the verge of completely failing. I had nowhere to retire.

Don't Wait For Someone To Save Your Ass

You know, the only one who cared to save me was myself? I looked in the mirror one morning (opiate addicted, depressed, and fat) and "something clicked". I think it was self-preservation fighting its way through the fog because I was truly, finally, and thoroughly disgusted and embarrassed at what I saw looking back at me. 

It took one millisecond at a time because real change happens slowly and is full of pain when you are alone.

I did many things (I've already written about on Bike With Bekkie) to get to where I'm at today. Without daily exercise, something I could do that made me feel better, something that I enjoyed-I wouldn't have made it. Especially over the long haul because it's been over 3 years now. It wasn't easy, the changes I made were depressingly slow but once I gained momentum it's all good habits now.

Once you reprogram your thinking and acting it becomes your way of doing. So make it good. I was in a very dark place. 

I may not have much (a bicycle and a car are about it) but from my bike seat, things look a lot brighter now. The world is still turning, the sun is still shinning and me, I'm still in it to win it!

Today is good. Thanks for reading!

Twenty Brilliant Quotes

I love good quotes! I have an application on my Android phone called “Brilliant Quotes” and it’s free so if you have an Android you may want to check it out.

Get inspired!

1. “Advertising is legalized lying.” H.G. Wells

2. “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

3. “Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln

4. “Ideas come from everything.” Alfred Hitchcock

5. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” Bill Gates

6. “I accept chaos, I’m not sure whether it accepts me.” Bob Dylan

7. “Moral indignation-jealousy with a halo.” H.G. Wells

8. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha

9. “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” Charles Darwin

10. “To be honest, one must be inconsistent.” H.G. Wells

11. “You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down.” Charlie Chaplin

12. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Woody Allen

13. “A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.” William Blake

14. “The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” Will Rogers

15. “Cynicism is humor in ill health.” H.G. Wells

16. “When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.” Walt Disney

17. “It is good to love many things, for therein lies strength, and whatsoever loves much can accomplish much, and what is done with love is well done.” Vincent Van Gogh

18. “Hell, there are no rules here-we’re trying to accomplish something.” Thomas A. Edison

19. “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” Douglas Adams

20. “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” Plato

Do you know a good quote? Share it with us in comments so we can read it.

Keep On Bloggin’!

The Witness Stand

Taking the witness stand (although I had nothing to be afraid of,) felt worse than having butterflies. I had a belly full of fish and they never stopped swimming the entire time! (My animation.)

I knew my turn had to come to be on the stand and come it did. I walked up with shaky legs (not due to my bad knees this time) and took my oath. 

As I sat down I thoughtI’ve gone over this stuff a million times, I feel confident and will do just fine! Sure Bekkie....

The Petitioner's lawyer came over and asked the first question. I was well practiced and at the ready! As I opened my mouth I noticed the people looking at me...they started to swim around just like my belly was feeling.

OMG! I looked back at the lawyer. Her lips were moving but nothing but gibberish was coming out! I was freaking out but I was aware that something was coming out of my mouth. Could it be I give a good answer? I looked at the people looking at me. At least no one was laughing or pointing fingers…I did my best and plowed on.

Ignore the floating people, don’t look them in the eyes and answer the question. I know this stuff! (I thought to myself.)

I was on the stand for about 2 1/2 hours. and it was finally over. The longest 2 1/2 hours I ever spent and I swear I was on acid….until I got off of the stand.

Then it was over and the sky opened up, the sun came out and the angels sang! Yet, I was left with a full load of adrenaline. Then it hit me, it’s not over yet and I may lose everything.

I stand to lose every cent I am living off of from getting alimony. I wasn't even getting the whole amount I cut my X some slack and now he was trying to cut me off completely.

So yes, my first day in court is over and I survived! The case isn’t over yet and I’ll have to go back for a 1/2 day July 5th and a 1/2 day July 8th. Can you believe they are making us come back twice for what we could get done in one day? Ridiculous.

At least it will finally be done soon as I’ve waited for over a year from the first court date. I am looking forward to starting the first day of my new life whatever comes.

Today is Tuesday and as the weekend approaches we have another holiday coming up, the 4th of July to celebrate. I want to see some awesome fireworks. Who’s with me? I hope you have a lovely week my friends as I retire for a well deserved restful evening.

Keep On Bloggin’!