The Facts Of Chocolate

A guy found a bottle and a genie granted him three wishes.

"Well," he said: "I'm broke and life sucks.
I'd like to be really stinking rich."
***POOF****
There was a million bucks.

"The best car in the World," he said;
"Is what I'd really adore,
But it costs $1.7 million.”
***POOF****
There was a Bugatti Veyron 16.4.

Finally, he said; "I'm a nerdy geek
I'm not one of those hunky jocks
I'd like to be irresistible to all women.”
***POOF****
He was turned into an automatically, refilling, giant chocolate box.
(Which unfortunately has no need for money and a car but on the other hand, will get slobbered over by all women.)

Jon Bratton 2012

Tee shirt slogan

EMERGENCY ALERT:
If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed,
ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY.

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps from chocolate!

Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete Hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate!

Elaine Sherman
Book of Divine Indulgences

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.

Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show, August 22nd

Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.

Mariska Hargitay

Chocolate doesn't make the world go around ... but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile!

Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. It's something that should be had on a daily basis.

Sandra Bullock

It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man.

Miranda Ingram

Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets.

Milton Zelman, publisher of "Chocolate News"

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

Mel Gibson

I don't understand why so many "so-called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.

I take chocolate from strangers.

... the taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex... For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate... entirely by myself. Furtiveness makes it better.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

Forget love...I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and no appointment is needed.

My mouth is watering after writing this I'm off for some chocolate!!!

Keep On Bloggin’!

Results Of My Eye Operation After Two Months & Three Days

I went to see Dr. Lam (my Ophthalmologist) on March 14th to find out how my eye surgery finally turned out. She did two operations on my right eye on January 19th. Even though I couldn’t tell I had a cataract the new lens in my eye surprisingly improved my eyesight and that was an awesome side effect.

Dr. Lam told me the second operation would really be difficult to pull off because a Macular hole is hard to close and there could be a lot of complications involved. She told me ahead of time that the gas bubble might not do the job, said to keep my head down, follow her instructions, use the eye drops as directed and keep my fingers crossed. I not only did that, but I prayed that my eye would respond to the treatment.

When Dr. Lam came into the examining room that day with the images of my inner eye she was really pleased. She showed me the images and it was amazing! The Macular Degeneration that caused the hole had disappeared! The before and after pictures were striking as the gas bubble had worked and the hole was gone. My doctor and I hugged as she congratulated me for following directions. Of course, I was lucky to have her as my doctor she was very good at her job and I thanked her.

I wasn’t sure if it worked or not before this last visit and was worried because I could still see the kink in a straight line when I used that eye but my doctor explained that it would take awhile for the damage that the hole had done to clear up and because we treated it so fast there wasn’t much damage at all. I can surely live with that and it saved my central, hell, it saved my vision in that eye!

I’m so happy to say I’m back and ready to write! My eye surgery worked and I’m thrilled! Besides that, I’ve missed my social networking, writing and reading your blogs!

Keep On Bloggin’!

Update. 

Unfortunately, although I did everything right this failed. I had to have it done again immediately. Again, I beat the small odds that it wouldn't happen again, yet I can't win the lottery or anything else for that matter.

My retina finally stayed down. I can see but the middle of my vision is damaged making it hard to read at times when I really notice it. My good eye is really bad now with floaters that are in the way of my vision. I don't write as much because of it. Lucky for me when I ride my bike outside and look around it's still beautiful.

In the next 4 short years, my life went to hell. My favorite aunt and mother died. My brother didn't tell me my mom was dying until it was too late for me to see her! Afterward, I got no closure. 

My roommate lost his permanent job, I lost my alimony and rent/bills kept going up. I gained a lot of weight and suffered the worst depression of my life. I lost my savings accounts which dwindled to nothing paying bills beyond my means. My health was on the verge of completely failing. I had nowhere to retire.

Don't Wait For Someone To Save Your Ass

You know, the only one who cared to save me was myself? I looked in the mirror one morning (opiate addicted, depressed, and fat) and "something clicked". I think it was self-preservation fighting its way through the fog because I was truly, finally, and thoroughly disgusted and embarrassed at what I saw looking back at me. 

It took one millisecond at a time because real change happens slowly and is full of pain when you are alone.

I did many things (I've already written about on Bike With Bekkie) to get to where I'm at today. Without daily exercise, something I could do that made me feel better, something that I enjoyed-I wouldn't have made it. Especially over the long haul because it's been over 3 years now. It wasn't easy, the changes I made were depressingly slow but once I gained momentum it's all good habits now.

Once you reprogram your thinking and acting it becomes your way of doing. So make it good. I was in a very dark place. 

I may not have much (a bicycle and a car are about it) but from my bike seat, things look a lot brighter now. The world is still turning, the sun is still shinning and me, I'm still in it to win it!

Today is good. Thanks for reading!