The Humorous Twelve Steps
1. I decided I could handle my emotional problems if other people would just quit trying to ruin my life.
2. I firmly believe that there is no greater power than myself, and anyone who said so was insane.
3. I made a decision to remove my will and my life from God, who didn’t understand me anyhow.
4. I made a searching and thorough moral inventory of everyone I know, so, they couldn’t fool me and take advantage of my good nature.
5. I sought those people out and tried to get them to admit to me, by God the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. I became willing to help these people get rid of these defects of character.
7. I was humble enough to ask these people to remove their shortcomings.
8. I kept a list of all the people who had harmed me and waited patiently for a chance to get even with them.
9. I got even with these people whenever possible, except when to do so would get me into trouble too.
10. I continued to take everyone’s inventory and when they were wrong, which was most of the time, I promptly make them admit it.
11. Sought through the concentration of my will-power to get God, who didn’t understand me anyhow, to see that my ideas were the best and He ought to give me the power to carry them out.
12. Having maintained my emotional problems for twenty four years with these steps, I can thoroughly recommend them to others who don’t want to lost their hard-earned status, but wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their lives.
*Borrowed from the Anonymous Programs
Today is the tenth anniversary of 911 and I am sorry for everyone’s losses in NYC, the Pentagon and the world. Also all the people who’s lives were touched somehow because of the chain reactions of 911. God Bless us all and may we survive what is yet to come.