Thursday, July 14

The Worst Places to Be In a Zombie Apocalypse

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Come on, admit it, at one point in your life you have worried that our cozy little civilization would one day fall as the zombie hordes swept across the Earth. Its okay, it’s only natural to think that. In fact, there are many people out in the world who are already prepared for a zombie apocalypse, but there are many more that are not. A zombie apocalypse may be regulated only to the movies today, but you can never tell. What if some disease-infected monkeys escape from the lab or our use of nuclear energy bites us back, if there is a sudden increase in the undead for whatever the reason you will want to avoid these locations!
 
Hospitals
hospital-zombie
 
Okay, so the recently deceased are coming back to life and chewing on the living? Most people when they feel sick go to the hospital. So, with these two tidbits of information, what do you think will have the highest concentration of newly-recruited zombies? The hospital! This is the place you do not want to be when the zombie apocalypse begins because this is typically where it all starts. More and more people come into the hospital, and more and more zombies come out. If you are in a hospital, you might as well consider your number is up because this is it; you aren’t getting out of there as a living human.
 
In Traffic Jams
Connecticut Pileup
 
Rule number one with zombies is to stay away from any place where you can be surrounded, boxed in, with literally no avenue for escape. Zombies can easily be outrun (at least under old-school zombie rules), but if they surround you its game over. So, think of a place where you are boxed in, with no escape, and people all around you. Yes, that’s right, the traffic jam. If a zombie outbreak hits your traffic jam, you will be surrounded by a lot of hungry undead commuters. So, you are in your car as a ravenous horde of zombies begins to move around. What do you do? You can sit in your car and hope they walk past, but they won’t and now you are like a sardine in a can for them. You can make a run for it, but you won’t get far, and you can try to drive away but, well, you are in a traffic jam. Don’t worry though, in about five minutes you will be one of the undead.
 
Skyscrapers
zombies
 
You may think a skyscraper is the perfect place to be in a zombie apocalypse. Sure, you are high above the ground, you can watch the carnage below and if you have enough food and water you will be able to relax back and wait for the apocalypse to burn itself out. Well, sadly, in the long run you are not safe at all. Eventually you have to leave the apartment building, and that is when trouble begins. First, the elevators probably don’t work so you need to take the stairs and you better hope there aren’t zombies in there. Once you get down the stairs and through the narrow halls, you need to get outside of the building where you will most likely meet a lot of zombies. The other problem with being in a skyscraper is there are other people in there with you who will turn to zombies and if they know you are in your apartment, there really is nowhere for you to go but down.
 
Malls Or Huge Shopping Centers
dawn-of-the-dead-4
 
If you have seen the original Dawn of the Dead or the remake from 2004, you know that a mall can be a good place to be when there is a zombie apocalypse. While there are plenty of supplies there, there are also a lot of people who are probably thinking the same thing you are. So, instead of having a few people you know hanging out in the mall with you, you will most likely get a lot of people crowded into a mall trying to hold onto the few supplies left. As well, when the apocalypse starts, people will loot and they will loot the mall. In addition, the mall has so many places to secure. Zombies may not stay behind glass. All they have to do is keep pushing against the glass and break through. Then it is all about rushing in and cornering you near the Starbucks.
 
An Airplane Or Airports
plane-dead-pic
 
You are on a direct flight from New York to London, hoping to escape the zombie apocalypse beginning back in the United States. As you lift off, you breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the ocean will now separate you from the undead. Sadly, someone got on the plane after being bit and midway over the Atlantic Ocean, they turn to a zombie. Now what do you do? If you can kill the zombie right away, then you should all be good but the first thing people do in an airplane with a zombie is panic, and panic they will. So, the zombie bites one person, then another, then another and before you know it you have a horde of zombies on the plane. The pilots have locked their doors so the plane will still fly, but what about you? The only place you can go is to the bathroom and you can’t stay in there through the flight. Even if you tried, those zombies are eventually coming through that door and making a mid-flight meal of you. The worst part of being on a plane with zombies is that there is no escape. You can try jumping but unless you know how to fly you aren’t going to survive. You can fight your way through the zombies with your meal tray but there will be too many zombies and too little space for you to use. All you can do is hope that the pilots let you into the cockpit, but what are the chances they are going to open the only thing between them and flesh eating zombies?
 
Stadiums/Movie Theaters
large-zombies
 
The zombies are attacking but you really want to see a movie or go to see a football game. So, you leave the house and make it safely to where you are joining 50,000 people in a stadium or a few hundred in a movie theater. Now you sit back and try to get your mind off the zombies spreading outside. Sadly, the zombies are not doing the same and they see something like a movie theater or stadium as the place to go for some quick eats. Once the zombies get into the movie theater or stadium, they will begin pushing more and more people into the middle. In a movie theater, you don’t even get to see where you are going as you try and find an emergency exit. In a stadium, you are competing with 50,000 people who are turning into zombies faster than anyone can flee.
All you can really hope for is that the zombies are too busy attacking the people around you so that you can get out. Sadly, both a movie theater and stadium have a limited number of exits, and most of those will be crowded with undead trying to get in. Hope you enjoyed the movie or game, because it will be your last.
 
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1 comment:

  1. I was thinking I could avoid these places such as hospitals, skyscrapers, traffic jams etc, but it appears an How to avoid Zombie Guide may be necessary.
    Funny blog, I like this.
    Glad you survived...bless you.
    Rx

    ReplyDelete

I hope you like the geekiness and topics that I write about in Wonderland. This is an older blog so I don't write very often anymore, however, the posts from the past are still enjoyable and I wrote on a plethora of subjects so give my Wonderland a try you may like it. Big hug!

BTW I have Comment Moderation turned on for the rude ones who have to leave fake comments with poorly hidden links in them. You ruin it for everyone but you already know that.