Monday, April 15

Dear Hubby

 

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 Dear hubby:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've
been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new silk dress.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown
out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice
when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was
'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything
if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About that new silk dress: I turned away
from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was
a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason,
I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as
Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem.

Groan……….

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